thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
