watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
