Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Small penises have feelings too.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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