We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize