as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
