At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
