You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
