What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
