PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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