People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i need some magic done to my vagina
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
