when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
