I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Drunk is not a location!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
