I'm gonna have a badass scar
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
