Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
