For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
