Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
