I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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