Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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