I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize