dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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