there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
