that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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