i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
