have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Even my vagina gasped.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize