You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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