i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They are going to name an STD after you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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