yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I believe in your delicious
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
