I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
