i jhust puked up my retainher.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
