Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
