its not stalking. its research.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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