He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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