I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize