Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
