I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
