thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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