dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
