i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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