I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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