Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So vagazzling was a success
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
