Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
