Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize