So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
