maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
