i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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