I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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