we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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