Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
