I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
