I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize