My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
