i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
