please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
