her facebook's as public as her vagina
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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