SEEEEXXX PLEASE
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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