guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I know her cup size but not her name....
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