Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
