Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
