New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
