sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
