My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
