Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
