and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
barbara walters just said penis...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize