lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
