You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
