it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
