Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
