I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
