If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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