Its about making memories worth repressing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
