it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
