Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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